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Compassionate Friends

12/11/2014

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One of my favorite pictures.  I don't even know who captured it, from a long, long time ago,but still makes my heart sing.

I've been a little quiet on hear of late.  As far as the presenting goes life has been keeping both Trem and I busy on other fronts, and I've dedicated less time to this side of my world.  But I always trust that life is unfolding as it should, and we have some great opportunities coming up in the new year!  We have been asked to present at next year's CCDDA Conference in Winnipeg in June, and that's huge, so we are both excited and honored to have been invited!

For now, I've been sharing my talent and story on other fronts.  Most recently providing music for the local Compassionate Friends Chapter's annual Candle Light Remembrance Service.  I know that if I hadn't shared the journey of all those other parents who have lost children, that I couldn't sing their experience in a way that helps them to heal and get through this very difficult season.  I feel so fortunate that I've been given the tools that allow me to do that, and the strength to be able to.  I thank Shane for that.  And being a part of that evening reminded me in the power and the strength that friendship has in helping us to endure the absolutely worst things that life can throw at us.  Not simply endure, but to come out the other side of it.

Just my friend is about the story of Trem and Shane's lives, living with and without disability.  But as Trem and I always try to ensure people realize, it's not just about opening yourself up to someone who has a disability. It's about opening your heart to others who are different from you in any way, whether its race, color, religion or any of the things that might have us see someone as being different.  It's about being open and aware of the fact that friendship is precious and invaluable to all of us.  Its what widens our worlds and our perspectives.  It gives us a sense of belonging that we can't get anywhere else. It is so, so important in this struggling world we live in and by offering our friendship to another, we can change the trajectory of a life.  We can help them rewrite their story and open up possibilities that could not have been available without had we not connected at some deeper level. 

I've been thinking so much about that over the last many weeks, hearing the news that is going on around the world.  The missing and murdered, the racial clashes, the heartbreak that is happening in all corners of this magnificent earth we all share.  What is it going to take for people to open themselves up.  See that we are all one people, sharing this one planet and that we could accomplish so much by building each other up, rather than by tearing each other down.  

Those are the thoughts and questions that are really filling my head and heart these days.  They are also what keeps me so grateful for the many gifts of friendship that I've been blessed with over the course of my life.  I can't imagine my journey without a single one of you! 

Over the holiday season, I hope my presents will be my presence to my family, my friends and the small parts of the world that I can impact and influence.  By lending my voice and my own abilities to causes that can move this world of our closer to the peace and belonging that we all yearn for, maybe I can be a small ripple in this huge ocean that we co-exist in.  That would be a gift!

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Children have the potential to change the world!

10/25/2014

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Last Friday Trem and I were invited to MacGregor Elementary School to share our story with the Grade 5 and 6 students there. It's what we've talked about being an important avenue to share our story through, but this was our first opportunity to talk to kids in that age group. We were both a little nervous, I'll admit. 

It was amazing to be there at MEC, back in the building and the atmosphere where the whole story began. Sharing the memories, the joys, the heartache, the anger of the dreaded 'anonymous letter' and the tragedy of Shane's passing. Fifty-some pairs of eyes upon us, encouraging us on, engaged in our story and being open and willing share their own experiences. It was an amazing afternoon, and we both so appreciate those children and their teachers who spent the time with us.

But isn't there always something so cathartic about sharing our story and our memories and our learning with those that we hope will carry that seed of insight with them into their own day to day lives? The vibrant, engaged faces of those beautiful children gave me absolute hope that the story we shared will live on, that lessons will be digested and shared, that wisdom will be passed along by them to others whose lives they will reach.

That's really what all of life, and this work in particular, is about isn't it? Having the courage to stand in the middle of our messy, heartbreaking, earth shattering stories...and trust that the listener is walking that path with us as we work our way through the memories...good and bad, sweet and sour, life nurturing and soul challenging. Our greatest of human hopes is that when we've had the courage to share that deep, protected part of ourselves with another that our vulnerability in doing so will be honored and respected. That the lessons learned and shared will be seen as the valuable possibilities that they are. Possibilities of a better time, a better understanding, a better future and a better world for all of us, regardless of our strengths and abilities.  

My deepest gratitude to those students for your kind attention and engagement as Trem and I shared. My fondest wish is that you'll remember pieces of Shane's story and message as you travel on through life. I hope you know the power and the impact that your understanding and sharing those lessons may possess, because you are the generation that has the potential to change the world as we know it. As young as you may be now, you have the wisdom, the tools and the technology to be leaders in a tomorrow that will see all persons valued as equal and all people embraced by their communities. What a gift you are this world of ours! Thanks for being you!  
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Kanye Questions

9/16/2014

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Kanye pushing all fans to stand. Photo from BING photos.
My son has been gone for over five years now, so we currently don't live day to day in the world of disabilities that directed our lives for so long.  However, a huge part of my heart still remains there, and I think it always will,

On some days, like today, I feel a little piece of it crack and break with the sadness of events that go on around the world. Seeing the recent Kanye West video of his concert
Qantas Credit Union Arena in Sydney on Friday (Sept. 12) was one of those events.


Although I can see now it's been a big news maker on many television fronts, it came to my attention through Facebook, on a link another mother shared and the accompanying Bill Board article about the event.  (Click here to read the full article).  It began when West called out two people in an audience of thousands for not standing when he asked the entire crowd to stand up before performing a song.  One person was in a wheelchair, the other had a prosthetic that wouldn't allow them to stand.  It turned into a full four minutes of singling out two individuals that ended up being the focus of all others in attendance, while the show was held up.  The booing and the chanting "stand up, stand up" continued until West's security determined the wheelchair was in fact real, and finally the show resumed.

So many of us have such a small circle of influence, where we can change a few hearts, minds, and beliefs through our words and actions.  We're always hoping to plant just a couple of small seeds that will move the world towards a more inclusive and accepting place for all people and would love to have the kind of reach and impact that Kanye has.  With West's ability to reach so many people, used in a positive way  this could have been such a wonderful teaching moment for those thousands of fans who live life with able bodies.  Instead it turned into a mockery.  What a sad message to send and what a missed opportunity to move our world forward.

My biggest heartache is for those two individuals.  To have been singled out that way, and made to feel so different and isolated in a world where decades have been dedicated to bring people with all kinds of abilities into typical community places and events.  It must have been horrible for them, and sad for the movement towards inclusion and participation.


I've explored deeper to see where things went from there.  I do see that almost 5 million people saw the video of the incident that was only published 3 days ago, and it has hit some of the big news.  In one video Kanye seems more intent on
making sure that the morning news shows don't 'demonize' him, without ever saying that he might have done things differently in retrospect.  In another he says there was 'no malicious' intent.  Another actually referred to a concert in Austin earlier in the summer when he assisted a young person in a wheelchair to get a better place to sit so he could actually see the concert.  

I don't know him, and won't profess to guess where it all stemmed from.  Maya Angelou said "we do what we do, when we know better we do better. "  Whatever happened, lets hope there's a turnaround lesson learned for the next time, for the artist and his fans.  Lets hope some of those 5 million viewers were advocates or self-advocates who are bothered enough by it that they are inspired to continue to educate those in their circle of influence.  Circles ripple and seeds grow,  so maybe this will be a trigger to so that change can continue to happen and others continue to grow forward by speaking up. 

Maybe the bigger question, h
ow can we help people of influence to know better, to understand the journey more deeply  and to use those teachable  moments to celebrate and include difference.
 

Till next time

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"...I am just human..."

4/5/2014

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I am always so proud when the people we work with and for find their own voice to help move the world forward into a more accepting and inclusive place!  I don't know Bob Hebert, but I know he speaks volumes as a teacher to all of those whose live he touches!  Wonderful stuff!!!

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Sharing our story with CBC Radio Noon February 2013

2/12/2014

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Love looking back into the archives of what has happened over the past with our 'Just My Friend' presentation.  This week I was reminded of the interview we did last year in conjunction with 'Inclusive Education Week' in sharing our story about why it is so important for Trem and I to continue to share the story of the friendship that had developed between Trem and my son,
Shane Dickson. 

I love that last year we were fine-tuning the presentation, and this year we will be presenting at the MCEC conference at the Victoria Inn next week, in celebration of Inclusive Education and all that it means to all stake holders.  We are both very proud that we have this opportunity to share the story of the friendship that developed between the boys, and remained as they grew into young men.  We love that this story has the potential to ignite possibilities for other children with and without disabilities to create deep, lasting connections with each other.  And what we really love is having the chance to keep Shane's incredible memory and legacy alive by being able to share him with you, through our memories and perspective! Thank you so much for allowing us to do that, and please come out and join us when you see us at an event near you!

Our love and gratitude..
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So much to be Thankful for!

10/13/2013

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Thanksgiving weekend here in Canada, and we are blessed with so many wonderful things!  An awesome fall day, family to celebrate with, food on the table, having a roof over our heads.  The list can go on and on, and mine does.  I am one of the luckiest people I know.
For all the challenges that have given me reason to feel less than grateful in times gone by, I have had the time and the opportunity to see that gifts that were hidden within those challenges and heartaches.  But believe me, none of that happened over night.  Finding the diamonds hidden in the rough patches of our lives never does come quickly or easily.  But with time, it does come. 
This is one of my favorite pictures of a reminder of all that I have to be grateful for, even after the heartache.  It came in the form a call I got from Trem in July of 2010, shortly after he and Shane should have graduated together.  Circumstance resulted in Shane not being with us to graduate in body, but he could not have been more present than he was that day in spirit!  Trem won the 'Shane Dickson Memorial Award for Inclusion' that year, and Trem texted me a few days later to tell me that he was planning to have a tattoo done to honor Shane and the years that he had been with us, asking if I was okay with that.  How could it ever have not been?  My heart exploded.
This was the picture he texted me of the tattoo that day...raw, and new and painful...sort of like the memories we shared of Shane were like at that time.  Now, over 3 more years later, the memories still can be painful, but they are less raw, and not nearly as new.  The good news is that they are still just as alive and just as important as they ever were. 
As we celebrate another Thanksgiving, I am thankful for the opportunity that Trem and I have to share the story of the friendship that he and Shane shared.  I am grateful that Shane was blessed with a friend who recognizes the importance of sharing that story.  To share the hope that that this can happen for all children, with and without disabilities.  To share the hope that the story we choose to share with people will lead to more friendships, more tolerance, more opportunities, start to pave the way to eliminating bullying in our schools today. Having the opportunity to be part of the change that will move the world forward into a softer, more inclusive society is something that is so much to be Thankful for! 
As you count your many blessings today, don't forget to be thank ful for the ways in which you too have an opportunity to make change for something better  in our world....then go forward and find your own way to be part of that change....and be Thankful that you live in a world where you have the freedom that you can make those choices!  Namaste


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    Lynda and Trem are Grateful knowing....

    we are so lucky to have this opportunity to share the things we are doing, and the many things we are learning as we continue to work towards inclusion in all areas of the world we live in !  
    We appreciate having this opportunity to share our experiences here, as we all grow together! 
    Thank you for being part of our journey!

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