Just My Friend
  • Who are Lynda and Trem?
    • Testimonials
    • Photo Gallery
  • Upcoming
  • Music and Books
  • Blog
  • LINKS
    • Children's Charities
    • Resources and Support
    • Diagnosis Specific
    • Articles and Inspiration
  • Contact

Every day is one step forward, two steps back...but then we move forward again!

3/19/2014

0 Comments

 
Picturea favorite picture of Shane with his posse....Wyatt, Trem, Steve and Cody
Today was a very interesting day of varying perspectives for me.  But then, most days are :)
This morning I spent time with a young man who is aging out of school. Me  explaining the option of 'In the Company of Friends' to him, and how it might by a good option based on the supports, gifts, dreams and skills he has.  He had a moment where he shared there were times he didn't feel his life was worth living, because he so deeply felt the differences between himself and the other students around him.  I tried deeply to assure him that his gifts and contributions did have meaning.  Did have an impact, most likely beyond what he may ever really know.  Did have a reason it the big scheme of things.  I hope I convinced him of that, although I don't know for sure that I did, however my life experience knows that to be true.
     From there I carried on to another event with a long time family friend who shared her frustration at how many people she encounters who still don't necessarily see people as people,  understanding or appreciating the value of people who live their lives differently through their challenges...physical, intellectually, mentally, or emotionally.  We agreed that the world is not yet perfect, but I choose to believe that every single day it's getting just a little better through the efforts of people who are pushing for more for our friends and family members who experience life differently because of a variety of diagnosis.
     It all adds to the interesting perspectives that I know Trem and I will experience in each of our presentations.  Those that definitely get it.  Those that struggle because of their own view of the world, the lens through which they see things.  It's all okay....and how do I know that?  Because that's the way it is.
     For ourselves, we're very excited to be presenting our story on March 20th (tomorrow) again in Brandon.  Every person touched is another individual that may pass the torch of understanding we are trying to share.  Like the old man that plants an apple seed in his treasured back yard....chances are he will never know the fruits of his labor.  The smiles and enthusiasm from appreciative youngsters that enjoy that fruit decades down the road.  The lives that he will touch generations down the line, through his passion of sharing what he knows to be true today.   We are that trusting gardeners who's hope lies in this faith.  That is perfect, because as with him, we too believe that the seeds of possibility we are planting in sharing our story are going to reap amazing rewards for children and adults that we'll never, ever likely know the names of...and that's okay.  As long as our passion and dreams for something better makes a difference.  It doesn't matter whether or not they ever know our names...or we know theirs.  We are all part of this magnificent circle of life that comes back in ways we can't imagine.  That is enough.

This story touched my heart deeply, as the perspective of a Father who has learned what we know.  Love to share the good stuff!
http://www.cbc.ca/sports-content/hockey/opinion/2014/03/nolan-trotz-has-been-a-big-inspiration-to-his-dad.html


0 Comments

Five years later....

3/11/2014

4 Comments

 
PictureOne of my favorite memories...On an air-boat in the Everglades...precious memories!
Yesterday, March 10, 2014, marked five years since Shane’s passing. Five years since the night that I turned off the light in that hospital room, only to flick it back on twenty minutes later and realize that in that short span of time life as I knew it at had ended.  Five years..
There’s a saying I’ve heard that says ‘the days go slow…but the years go fast…’  I get that.  That is so how it feels in this new existence.  Some days seem to drag on endlessly…some, where your heart aches and just can’t keep up with the reality that your head continues to pound into it..those days drag on endlessly.  But the years?  In honesty, they seem to have flown…so fast, with so many changes, so many happenings, so much adjustment.

When Shane first passed I read that it takes five years to once again begin to feel normal after the loss of a child…to begin to breathe normally, to function normally, to live ‘normally’, so as you can imagine I have waited for this date.  I have waited for this five year anniversary where I might start to recognize myself and experience some sense of normalcy once again. 

Now that date has come and gone…but the sad reality is that there is no return to what was known to be normal.  However, there is a more gentle acceptance of what is.  So maybe that is a better description of what the five year marker means…not a return to normal…rather an acceptance of what is, and the ability to live relatively comfortably in that.  So maybe…that is where I am..where we are…and that’s okay.

What has been most interesting to me is that what I thought might have become easier by now, really hasn’t.  I thought that the time might have come when I’d miss Shane a little less…that I might be used to his not being here and be more content with that.  But strangely, I continue to miss that young man so darn much it’s incredible.  It still takes my breath away on a daily basis.  I wonder what the scheduled timelines are for that to change? My guess…there are none…it’s all uncharted water.

So now, five years after the fact, these are the things I know for sure. 

  •  I do still continue to miss that beautiful child of mine every minute of my day.  He is a part of every breath I take and every action I make, and I don’t see that changing any time soon.  Whatever your spiritual beliefs might be, mine tell me that he reaches out to me daily in symbolism and experiences that let me know he is out of sight, but he is never too far away.
  • Shane’s force is as strong in the world today as it was when he lived here with us, and maybe even stronger.  For me and others that loved him, he’s become our passion and our purpose to continue to make change in the world for all the other ‘Shanes’.  His life may have ended, but his mission continues.
  • With time it does become easier to let go of the mementos and keepsakes that you cling to in the early period of the loss…but as you find you’re able to release what you cling to, those that you release those treasures to value and cherish them in a way you might not have believed possible earlier on.  You only keep what you give away….so pass the magic of the memories along.
  • Shane gifted our lives with his existence for a reason…and every time Trem and I share the story of their friendship, his lessons, our memories….that reason becomes more concrete, more real, more important and intentional for both of us.  We all have a greater purpose on this earth than we can ever even imagine.  Love, joy, connection, acceptance…those are our highest reasons for being here …and the most beautiful thing for me is that in every opportunity to share that story…those are the emotions I experience…Love, joy, connection and acceptance…a state of bliss…a state of flow in sharing our story.    And that tells me that in doing what we are doing in sharing that story, I am being offered an opportunity to share my highest purpose to do my part in moving the world closer to being a place of acceptance, inclusion and equality.  What a gift…what an opportunity.  Thank you for that Shane…love you forever…like you for always…as long as I’m living…my baby you’ll be. xoxo


Picture
The greatest photo, Shane in the grape leaves, taken by Bianca Bell for my Christmas present project they planned
4 Comments

    Lynda and Trem are Grateful knowing....

    we are so lucky to have this opportunity to share the things we are doing, and the many things we are learning as we continue to work towards inclusion in all areas of the world we live in !  
    We appreciate having this opportunity to share our experiences here, as we all grow together! 
    Thank you for being part of our journey!

    Archives

    August 2019
    March 2019
    January 2019
    April 2018
    December 2017
    September 2017
    June 2017
    January 2016
    July 2015
    May 2015
    December 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    October 2013

    Categories

    All
    Advocacy
    Be The Change
    Contribution
    Disabilities
    Family Advocacy
    Friendhip
    Friendship
    Grief Recovery
    Growth
    Healing
    Importance Of Stories
    Inclusion
    Peace
    Relationships
    Tolerance
    Triggering Behaviors

    RSS Feed

    Subscribe to our mailing list

    * indicates required
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.