As a Mother who has lost her child, I know I struggle with that often. Even though it's been six years now, and life has taken on a new form and a different flow, there are still those days where I ask myself what is it all about. What were all the lessons that I had to learn for anyways? What are the next steps when what you believed your purpose was has changed so drastically? What now?
I have more irons in the fire and things on my to-do list than just about anyone I know. The endless little piles of projects and ideas and things to yet be accomplished are scattered beyond my office, they area throughout my home, as I pick at pieces of what might be next, trying to put it all together in a way that makes sense of life. I read and re-read the writings in my journal, seeing myself asking myself that question so often. The answer is so close, but still just out of reach most days.
I become so busy being busy, that I neglect to sit back and just review and reflect. I know it's important, I encourage and challenge others to do it all the time through my life coaching. But like all people, sometimes I neglect to take my own knowing and turn it into action. Then I get a day like today
This morning, in an effort to get through one of the piles on my desk, I came across some of the feedback forms that we'd received after our presentation at the CCDDA conference in Winnipeg in June. I'd read them quickly then, but not since in all the things that we've been 'busy' at. So this morning, I took the time to scan them into my files, and post some of the authorized testimonials on our website, and in doing so, was reminded of what is so much a part of my purpose. I am filled with gratitude.
The kind words, the heartfelt encouragement and gratitude for what Trem and I share, reminded me of just how important it is that we do keep sharing. That we continue to tell Shane's story...our story...and his lessons and his teachings to us...because he was one of the greatest teacher's that I have ever known. To be able to share that and reach the hearts of others through our words and my music is such an honor...such a gift.
Sometimes I need to gently remind myself, that it was not all for nothing. That there was meaning, and knowledge and wisdom that was gathered on every step of our journey together, and that by continuing to share it with others, we have the opportunity to make the journey of another less lonely. To share it ensures that nothing is lost. To offer another parent hope that what they want most for their son or daughter...love and acceptance and meaningful relationships...can be possible. Not easy, not without intentional work and effort, but none the less possible.
Maybe something that worked for me will work for them. Maybe something that moved Trem to embrace that friendship, will inspire another to take those little steps that changed all of our worlds. Maybe ... just maybe... a child's life and a families experience will be just a little bit easier because of our being open and sharing what we went through with others.
Maybe that is the point of so much of our life's purpose and journey, every one of us. Just to share our story, teach what we learned through what worked and what didn't, to keep offering light, and hope and optimism to those that we encounter on this walk through life. We are all on different paths, but we all share the road we're traveling.
Whether it's through presenting at a workshop or just being available to answer a question or offer a suggestion to another whose path is similar, maybe the purpose is just to do it with authenticity and an open heart..
And maybe when we need our own answers the most, they are given to us...through the kind, thoughtful feedback of others. Thank you all so much for that.